message in a bottle (02.2003 - 09.2008)

It has been a year of travels for me. And I am so glad. Well, it is a fact that most of these travels (eight to be specific!) took me to-and-fro between Delhi and Hyderabad but it was in this very year thatI visited Rishikesh for rafting, a temple in a remote district of Rajasthan (twice),  Mcleodganj, Vaishno Devi, Singapore, Penang, Kuala Lumpur, and Phuket.

When I am blue, I forget about the little things that make me smile, so I lifted the idea from Compulsive Confessor and made a list of warm fuzzies...

Books that grow on me midway; smell of old paper; spilling over bookshelves; spicy noodles; mustard; cheese; oregano; pizza with extra cheese; rain; pitter-patter on the tin roof; sound of water fountains.

The cold sensation when the air conditioner dries up the sweat; warming my toes in front of the room heater; a cold shower on a hot day; a hot shower on a cold day.

Standing in the balcony on the 12th floor and letting the breeze blow through my hair; jazz music at night; listening to 90’s film songs that bring back school-time memories; watching movies on big (really big) screens; sleepovers where you talk until wee hours of the morning; long chatty walks; long quiet walks.

Oversized fluffy bath towels; pink motorazr; hair that look like Maggie noodles; Maggie noodles; surprise gifts; unexpected sweet gestures; welcome hugs; bye-bye hugs; lengthy personal mails with plenty of visual description; the word plenty; a letter amongst bills in the post; taking pictures.

Listening to stories; having do-you-remember conversations; little babies who smile at me; eager little puppies; people who call to tell me that I am missed; bubbly cola; frothy beer.

Gossip that doesn’t hurt; Western movies; superhero comics; fanfare music; Big Chill; Flavors when it is empty-ish; Red Hot Café; sharing a hot chocolate fudge; Ultimate Spiderman; Web comics; pedicures; talking about my favorite television show or movie with a fellow fan; sound of the laughter of a loved one.

New comments on my LJ; romantic comedies; slick action flicks; discussing zodiac signs; long drives; sound of flute; a well made cold coffee; successful romances; happy endings.

Phew. Hard to believe I can ever feel low.

The universe may not always play fair, but it sure has a great sense of humor.

“There is a lot to be said about suppressing one’s emotions. If you do it long enough, you do not feel anything.” – Excerpt from Neil Gaiman’s American Gods

I read these lines more than a week back but they’ve stayed with me. I know that one can condition oneself to reach this state of numbness but I still don’t agree with the philosophy. Do you?

“When I grow up, I want to be a newsreader!” the eleven-year-old Anupma would happily announce, often.

From a newsreader to a radio jockey, a college lecturer, a print journalist, a fiction writer, a bookshop owner…the proclamations may have changed but they have always been present. You can still find me declaring that I want to be such-n-such when I grow up.

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This morning, I was looking for a mug shot of Topher Grace to check out if he’d suit the role of Venom in Spider-Man III. While looking at his biography, I noticed that he is only five months senior to me. Look at the list of small somethings that he has under his belt! And, he is not even half as famous as many others of his age.

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So the point is that I’ve missed my station. If I had to grow up and be something, I would have done that already.

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The new, adjusted announcement:

“If I grow up, I want to own a bookshop!”

Repeated viewing of Before Sunrise and Before Sunset has made me relate to Celine from the first movie. I see a reflection of my thoughts in her ideas. Her romanticism, her beliefs, her faith, her insecurities - all seem to be so me.

Just wondering, nine years from now, will I turn into what the 23-year old Celine became at 32?

An angry-depressed maniac.

Whatever I may do, I cannot deny being a gizmo-crazy girl. The gloss and compactness of hardware gives me a natural high! (Is one supposed to get a natural high from material possessions? Umm…think not!)

Well, I dare not count the bucks I spent on collecting gizmos in the year 2004. I replaced my desktop computer with a laptop, bought a preventable camera phone, and picked up a new hobby and got myself a GBA. No, I am not on a guilt trip. I am glad that I bought all those and regret not being able to buy an iPod and a digital camera. Nonetheless, I have no right to eye a Nokia 2650 or a Samsung SGH-X430 longingly. (Cannot help it. I have a thing for cell phones with flaps.)

Therefore, I make this post to remind myself of the vow I made to myself – I will not buy a new cell phone until the present one goes kaput.

If we wait for the moment when everything, absolutely everything, is ready, we shall never begin. - Ivan Turgenev